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As the title suggests, I will be telling stories and expressing my varying opinions. And yes, they may be offensive. Not offensive in the way that you're thinking (by that I mean I'm not going to be flat out profane) more offensive in the sense that I'm going to say things that you might not like. I have a lot of opinions, and they're rather strong. You may disagree, but hopefully you'll find yourself slightly entertained, maybe just a little amused, possibly just a bit aroused (that's a joke, by the way). If you're even the smallest amount intrigued, then I encourage you to continue reading. I have much, much more to say.

1/26/14

Mars

I've been thinking a lot about Mars lately.

I'm sure almost everyone has heard about Mars One plan. If you haven't, I'll explain it to you. The idea is to send an unmanned spacecraft to Mars in 2018, equipped with some water and other various scientific instruments, and then to follow that with a group of four earth humans (selected from 200,000 applicants, all of whom I'm sure don't have any marital or financial problems...), who will arrive on 2024-25 and never return to Earth. This project will cost "around $6,000,000,000" (six billion) according to CNN. Y'know, approximately. The intent of the mission is to eventually colonize the red planet.

This has gotten me thinking a lot.

What kind of people do we want to be the first to another planet?
This is very important. I mean, there will almost certainly be a doctor, or someone with medical experience, in case of accidents. What other than that though? There doesn't really need to be a teacher at this stage, since everyone going will already be educated (hopefully). Tayler said that a hairstylist from Provo applied. Far from thinking this ridiculous, I thought it was pretty damn clever. She realizes that people on Mars are gonna need haircuts like anyone else. Someone's gotta do it. I think there ought to be a skilled writer up there. Someone needs to chronicle that shit. Also, they get the pleasure of starting their journal entries with "Captain's log" or "Stardate blah-blah" or "Mars One Main Correspondent reporting from Mars One Main Mission Base..." Cool. I'm interested to see. Rumor has it that the people going will be chosen by the public. That scares me. The public doesn't know what the hell it wants (look at the Kardashians, for God's sake!). I don't think the world is ready for "The Real Housewives of Mars" or "Survivor: Red Planet." Maybe Survivor.

Will they have their own government?
I feel like knowing who's in charge will be a challenge. They ought to have a mayor or something, right? Maybe a president. Then the question is, can previous presidents from Earth run for Mars president? (Maybe that's why they froze Lenin, so that he could be revived to rule Mars...the RED Planet! I may have just stumbled about some serious business!) I hope for the citizens of Mars that some of our more "special" presidents don't run (especially if his brother is the governor of Mars-Florida... I'm not talking about anyone specific here...)

Not too much more now... Sorry that it's so lengthy this time... (That's what she said. I've made that joke before, but it's still funny.)

Will they have their own currency?
Joe jokingly said that they would use bitcoin. I think they'd be missing an opportunity to come up with something new. (I'm thinking SchruteBucks, or something similar). I say that they should come up with a new Mars money, something that is worth less than the dollar, so that Americans can finally go somewhere and have the exchange rate in their favor for once!

How will they handle procreation?
I don't know if these people will be too concerned about it initially, but eventually there will be some babies (the first Martians!), accidents happen. Are they prepared for this? I hope so...

Are they going to attempt to bring more water and create an Earth-esque climate, complete with all of that evaporation, condensation, precipitation business that we learned about in our ninth grade Earth Sciences class with Mr. Landeen?!

Ahem.

Lastly, what language will they speak?
It's my understanding that this project will include people from a few different nationalities (it probably should anyone, or else that's not cool...). Are they going to establish a common language? Will it be one that already exists? Again, I feel like they would be missing out on a rare chance to create a brand new language. That sounds like a madorkian trimply! (Marsian for "freaking blast!")

Alright. That's it for today.

Until next time,
Steve

1 comment:

  1. Some very interesting points! This whole mission to Mars thing is gonna be very interesting to say the least. From what I've heard about the mission there's no way in heck I'd ever go! It's a one way trip and they'll basically be living in tiny tents, and I bet the reception's pretty terrible way out there. It's like a life long intergalactic camping trip!

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