Welcome to My Blog

As the title suggests, I will be telling stories and expressing my varying opinions. And yes, they may be offensive. Not offensive in the way that you're thinking (by that I mean I'm not going to be flat out profane) more offensive in the sense that I'm going to say things that you might not like. I have a lot of opinions, and they're rather strong. You may disagree, but hopefully you'll find yourself slightly entertained, maybe just a little amused, possibly just a bit aroused (that's a joke, by the way). If you're even the smallest amount intrigued, then I encourage you to continue reading. I have much, much more to say.

10/18/11

Challenges and a Short Story (Updated 11/8/11)

Hello, people. I'm back. I'm very pleased with the reception of my Encyclationshipedia. I will probably update it every now and then, I'll be sure to let you know if I do. Today my main goal is to highlight two challenges that I've been given recently. But they both require a little bit of back story.

Challenges: I owe some credit to Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother for getting me into these challenges. I've become susceptible to saying, "Challenge accepted" whenever someone says that I can't do something. Here are two that I'm working on currently.

1. Alibi
I've been known to sing every now and then, occasionally in a band. My good friend Earl has challenged me to sing the song Alibi by 30 Seconds to Mars. I'll post a link below. It's a pretty challenging song but I'm working on it. I hope to get there someday soon.

2. Salad
This one is much more interesting. A few days ago Tayler, Jeffrey, Funky, Jana, and Ashley went to Wingers Restaurant. Now I have had some, shall we say, unpleasant intestinal experiences following visits to Wingers. I was slightly uneasy with returning there. To play it safe, I ordered sticky finger salad. But I was still fully prepared for those uncomfortable rumblings to return. This is where the challenge comes in. I expressed my fears of upcoming bathroom visits and Tayler said, "I don't think that a salad could give you diarrhea*". To which I replied, of course, "Challenge accepted." So now, I have to do just that. Make a salad that will result in terrible visits to the bathroom. I have big plans. I'm talkin' chili and jalapenos and bread crumbs and croutons and a bran muffin tossed with some lettuce and milk of magnesia. Maybe not that exactly but I'll figure it out.

3. Thanksgiving Song Challenge Complete!
A friend of mine, Kate, is adamant that Christmas begins as soon as there is Christmas music on the radio. I disagree! If the Christmas Season starts in November, then I am forced to think about my loved ones way more than I want to! It's bad enough I have to do kind things for my friends and family one week out of the year, now it's apparently a two month ordeal of guilt and financial planning. [By the way this is (mostly) sarcasm]. Anywho, she claims that if there were Thanksgiving songs then she would celebrate Thanksgiving first. So, ladies and gents, I am going to write a Thanksgiving song, with the help of my colleague Earl. So I'll post it here when I'm complete! Get ready Turkey Day, we're about to musically honor your ass.

So, there it is, three challenges that I must complete. When I do I assure you that you'll be informed. I'll also keep you posted on any future challenges I accept.

Okay, the title promises a short story and I will provide I assure you. Since this post already mentions the bathroom I figured it was the best time to tell this tale.

Earlier today, I was at work. I am employed at a place called Buster Burger, best burgers in the valley. While working, I found myself in need to visit the restroom for a short while. Only problem was, the Men's room is currently out of order due to some sink issues. That left only two options: 1) Hold it for three hours; 2) Go in the Women's. I picked choice two. I rationalized that a bit of uncomfortable atmosphere is worth my physical health. How wrong I was. I don't know if any of you have ever used the restroom of the opposite sex, but it...is...weird. Everything felt completely wrong. Even though nothing was significantly different, it certainly felt like it was. I was out of there as quickly as possible. I was so uncomfortable that I remember thinking, I have to post this story on my blog later. And so here I am, telling the tale of my strange experience. I hope you enjoyed laughing at my discomfort.

Well, until next time
Stephen

*I don't want people to get the wrong idea about my blog, I'm not all about potty humor. I thought it would make it a little better if I minimized words that made me and potentially others uncomfortable.

Link to Alibi

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